Mirror Me

Ever find yourself standing in the mirror wondering who you are looking at? This is something that has been happening for me very recently. I see my hair, my eyes, lips, shoulders, breasts, butt, legs, and feet. Yes they all belong to me. I’ve had them for 35 years now. I look at pictures of me and I think “that was me?” Or “wow, I remember thinking I looked fat.” Come to think of it have I ever been in tune with my body?

My thoughts continue to roll in those few minutes I’m standing there. I’ve been working real hard lately on my fitness. I work out regularly, I eat healthy choices with portion control, but when I look in the mirror I can’t see changes. Is it because I am choosing not to? Is it because I’m not willing to look at who I am and love me for me?

Over the years like many women I have endured comments from others. “Do you purposely stick your boobs out?” “Oh my God look at those eyebrows!” “Where did you get that shirt?” “You wonder why your dad isn’t around” “You look like a skeleton” “Are you really going to eat that?” “You know what they say right? Once on the lips forever on the hips.” “You’ve got good birthing hips.” These comments for years have always been in the back of my mind. I can’t help but wonder if they skew my thoughts about myself as I look in the mirror.

Why do we as a society feel like we should constantly be each other’s critics? Don’t we realize we are already our own worst enemies? I admit it sometimes I eat aimlessly from my own emotions. This is the struggle. The struggle between being positive and or negative. At some point you have to choose the path where you will find your success. Face it negativity breeds negative karma and that will make it hard to climb the mountain to accomplish each and every goal you set. When you are ready YOU need to CHOOSE to make your life positive.

I stand in the mirror today reminding myself that I have chosen to change my mindset. I have decided to live mindfully. Be present in everything I do. Too many times I have become the “Yes girl” the girl that when someone asks for something I say yes even if it means I have 12 things planned in one day with three of them scheduled to start at the same time. I say yes to please my family so they can be proud of me. This leaves me exhausted, depressed, and not really enjoying the things I really should be. The only person who needs to be proud of me is me. This is such an important revelation.

We long to please people so that we can feel better about our choices. But, what if the person we truly need to please is ourselves? I want to be a good role model to my children. I want them to build healthy relationships not just with others but also with themselves.

So I am going to choose to continue to look in the mirror every day and instead of judging “the me” I see. I will embrace her and celebrate the beautiful woman I am. I will embrace the changes as they come. I know every day I will look different, each week and month I will change. I will never look the same again. I will find ways to fall in love with myself every day because my kids deserve that. They deserve someone who can show them it’s alright to be yourself.

I hope you find a way to embrace yourself too. I know I am not on this journey alone. Feel free to share your stories in the comments.